On Not Writting

For the past month I have struggled to finish what I've started. I think too much about what I'm trying to say and nothing comes out. Or my inner critic edits it before I can finish the bloody sentence. It can always be better.

It once was better: I start thinking about something, say on the way home from work, walking through Riverfront Park (doing laundry, driving to nowhere, etc). Regardless of what I was doing, it was brilliant. The kind of thing that changes the world. Everyone would recognize ME as the guru of whatever. So on and you know the rest… Then I get home, open up Word and… The phrases that sounded good in my head look terrible on the screen (if I can even remember them).

As the Improv Gods would say, I am in my head. I am thinking too much about things that are not important, at least not in the present moment. If I can get the words down, I can fix the style later. If I can't get the words down in the first place I have nothing. Ok, Mr. Critic it ain't perfect but it's on virtual paper.

Ok, I let Mr. Critic silence me. The only way I can grow is to put myself out there and risk being the fool. I can’t succeed if I don’t risk failure. This post, like the others, is a disappointment. It had so much promise when I was thinking it over in my mind. .. It may not meet my impossible, I'll post it anyway.

What I'm Doing

The problem: I need to write to learn, but when I write, try to hard to make it perfect and eventually give up. The words get in the way of the idea. In fact, I spent several cycles trying to get this paragraph right and I am not satisfied with it even now.

I need to write to get over the hump of the perfect. I need to write %$#! so I can eventally write well. One way to learn is to explain it. Yada Yada Yada.

So I'm going to write a series of blog posts about what I'm doing. Mabie something will stick . . .